chirstmas in 2005

Christmas in 2005

Keith was trying to get Charlie (4 years old) to behave himself at Mike's party and was playing the "better be good or Santa won't come" card with Charlie. I was about to tell him that if he isn't good he will get coal in his stocking, but instead I told him that he will get spam in his e-mail account... this might be more of a punishment than coal and the wave of the future.

You better be good or you will get Spam in your e-mail account..... your primary e-mail account

Another thing that Christmas has shown me is that people who package kids toys in boxes don't really want the kids to have the toys. A couple of years ago I started carrying a little pocket knife around Christmas to cut open taped boxes and the such, but I have found that the older my kids get, the toys they receive are being held in their boxes like Fort Knox. Of course my son wants to play with the toy and has the patience of an ant while I try to figure out the many locks and straps are holding in the toys. I have decided to carry my little knife and a pair of wire cutters in the future. God help me if I ever wanted to return anything that I took out of the box because it isn't going back in.

Mike's Christmas Party 05

Mikes Christmas Party 05

We went to Mike's Christmas party on Friday night (rescheduled from last week). We had a real good time with lotsa food and drinks, with only one tragic event... POP. I don't know why but Keith bought Jeff a case of that Jones soda pop that is flavored. Now mind you I usually don't mind flavored pop, but not when it's the flavor of a turkey dinner. Shortly after Jen and I arrived I was offered a small sip of the broccoli casserole, and I was thinking it can't be that bad, maybe a hint of flavor. OMG this was the foulest tasting, disgusting, think I have ever tasted in my life, and it's pop. I have had some nasty tasting drinks before but at least there was alcohol in it. I seriously almost hurled after tasting this stuff. The worst part of it is that this was just ONE of the flavors in this case of soda. There was also corn on the cob, turkey, pecan pie and I think another flavor. After everyone commented on how foul it tasted, they keep opening the other flavors.. and I kept trying them. Thank God there was alot to drink and snacks to get the taste out of my mouth. I am sure this is one of those stories that will live on forever, just like my jello shots. The rest of the night went pretty good with classic atari video games in the one room and movies in the main room.

Rudolf

Rudolf the red nosed raindeer,reighndear, ranedere.

This time of year there are a bunch of shows that air on TV for the christmas holidays. One of them is Rudolf. With the invention of DVD's and the licensing rights and whatnot they actually released these classics on DVD. Usually this is a good thing since alot of these specials air on weird nights or when we aren't home, so I thought this would be a good thing. Pop it in and let my 2.5 year old get into the spirit whenever he wants. But I forgot then when my son sees a show or movie he likes he watches it over and over and over. This was the case with Rudolf. He has even learned to hit the button to repeat this 40 minute classic(no commercials), which is good for us so he is not dragging us over to the TV. I need to find the remote control (packed in a box) so I can use the picture in picture.Upon watching this show numerous times I saw some things that I had never noticed as a kid, because I only saw the show once a year.

On the island of misfit toys, there is a bird with fins who says he can't fly and jumps into a bowl of water to swim around. At the end of the show during the credits you see this same bird/fish. All of the other toys are getting umbrellas to float down from Santa's sleigh, but you see the elf just about to give the bird/fish an umbrella, pause, and then push the bird/fish off the sleigh without the umbrella!!!! He just killed the bird/fish since he can't fly and he is smiling about it !!

When Rudolph comes back from running away, he is told his parents and girlfriend left to look for him and have been gone for months, he turns around and finds them in a day (since it is said that Christmas is only 2 days away). Where the heck have his parents been for the past couple of months? and how does Rudolph find them in a day. Obviously Rudolphs GPS was alot better than his parents.

Santa is so harsh since he blames Donner for Rudolphs nose. How is this Donners fault?

At the end of the show when rudolph is leading Santa's sleigh there are only 6 instead of the usual 8, so Rudolph replaced two reindeer. Is this the first sign of corporate downsizing?

Hermie (the dentist wannabe) doesn't have pointed ears and blond hair. Maybe the illegitimate child of Santa?

Why does Mrs. Clause have such a heavy Bavarian accent when no one else does?

Yukon Cornelius has a freakin gun !!! Why not just shoot the bumble??

And last.... for now... Rudolph can fly.. why the heck is he walking everywhere???


I might write more observations on Rudolph later, just depends how many times I see it this weekend. We are trying to get the 2.5 year old to get into a better rotation.

Monty Python Sillyness

Click on the link to go to monty python Sillyness


Monty Python Sillyness

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10 on the Ewwwww factor

Man Pleads Guilty in Horse-Sex Case
Wed Nov 30,10:02 PM ET

SEATTLE - A man has pleaded guilty to trespassing in connection with a fatal horse-sex case.
James Michael Tait, 54, of Enumclaw, was accused of entering a barn without the owner's permission. Tait admitted to officers that he entered a neighboring barn last July with friend Kenneth Pinyan to have sex with a horse, charging papers said. Tait was videotaping the episode when Pinyan suffered internal injuries that led to his death.
Tait pleaded guilty Tuesday and was given a one-year suspended sentence, a $300 fine, and ordered to perform eight hours of community service and have no contact with the neighbors.
The prosecutor's office said no animal cruelty charges were filed because there was no evidence of injury to the horses.

A couple of questions and comments come to mind after reading this story:

1. Did this guy get internal injuries "working it" with the horse or did he get a hoof to the gut? I can't imagine working that hard for sex that would cause internal injuries.
2. Seeing a real horse... did this guy really thing he could bring something to the table for the female horse?
3. I can't imagine (again after seeing a real horse) that the female horse would exactly be a tight fit. Now a nice sheep... nevermind.
4. There is video?
5. Do I have a friend that I know well enough that I would even think to ask to video me doing a horse?
6. Would I really want that person as a friend? Their job is to talk me out of that stupidity.

So the wrong thing to say

Recently I was helping out in the warehouse trying to get a job done that was extrememly hot and had to get out the door. Basicly it was one of those jobs where the machine is running on max and every employee on first shift is busting their butt and doing whatever is necessary to keep up with the machine. We were all working on "Maximum" until the second shift came in where there was a short delay in overturning the employees. When a female employee came over to the machine and asked if we were ready to get going, my boss, needing a short break, tells her that we need a quick 5 minute "blow" before continuing. Just about everyone in earshot looked up at hearing what my boss said and starting laughing. He said it innocently enough, just needing a break, but it was so the wrong thing to say. Making the situation even funnier is that the co-worker is gay so her comment back to my boss was, "you are talking to the wrong person for that". So after a quick 5 minute break it was back to the machine a little red faced.